"WHO KNOWS GOD'S PLAN?"My precious daughter was born at 4:18 a.m. on April 18, 1978. She came out wide awake, no crying, but looking all around! That was an indicator of what my life and hers would be like. As a new mother, I had a hard time getting her to latch on for nursing. I had to use a special patch to help her attach. At the first week’s meeting with the doctor he wanted me to supplement, but I had finally started to get her to nurse, so I asked for another week, and then it was fine. She preferred one side, so I would have to hold her under one arm to get her to drink from that other side. I never knew when she would waken at night for a feeding, never on any kind of schedule. I would try to figure out when it would happen, and it never did.
When she was about 15 months-2 years, I would ask the doctor if she was hyper-active as she would be trying to open all his drawers, or be getting into anything she could. He would just say she was curious and normal. If my husband and I would go out for dessert, just for an hour alone, I would come home to find the babysitter out in front of the house, the baby screaming and the sitters mother over. This after I had left the baby asleep, fed, dry, and content. Shortly after this time, I found a pamphlet describing ADD. (Attention Deficit Disorder). It listed nearly everything that was going on with us. (I had been feeling like I was just a bad mother.)
When her sister was born at age 3 things just got worse. The older child delighted in bothering or pestering her sister. She was very sneaky about what she did. She was sent to preschool, which she loved, but bit another child in the back. I was mortified. She had trouble getting along. I have a picture of all the Sunday school children in a Christmas play, and her is my daughter, hanging out by the door, not with the group.
One teacher in preschool asked me why I didn’t appreciate what a good girl my daughter was. I just started crying, because I couldn’t see it.
I retained my daughter in 2nd grade. We had moved to the east coast, and she just wasn’t doing well. It wasn’t that she wasn’t smart, just that she didn’t do the work, or would get side- tracked, etc. During the 2nd year in 2nd grade she did something to a classmate at school and I got called in. I was shocked, angry disgusted, and couldn’t believe it. When asked, my child could not tell me why she did it. They suggested getting counseling for her, so I made arrangement for it to start. While there, I asked the counselor to see if she was “officially” ADD. She was. The day she started medication (Ritalin) I didn’t tell anyone, but happened to substituting at her school. At lunch time her teacher came in and excitedly told me my child had written ½ page of her assignment (nothing like that had been happening). I then told the teacher she had started medication –that day! What a change. However, at the time, they didn’t want the child taking medication on weekends, so weekends were nightmares for me.
Moving forward, my child went to college in Southern California, got a degree in psychology and tried to find a job. She got one, but, poor pay and finally released from it. I insisted she come home. I don’t know why (God’s way) but I insisted. She came home, mad at me, but I didn’t care. She decided she wanted to become a nurse. Because she hadn’t taken much science, she had to go to COD and get those course first. Then, she had difficulty finding a school that would accept her. (During all the time she was home she also worked). Elmhurst accepted her and she took her training. She had two classes left before getting her BSN and in one of those classes, you had to pass all 3 tests. She didn’t pass one of them. She was “kicked out.” She was in shock and of course we felt very bad about it, but what could be done? I realize I could have had had a legal leg to stand on, as she was ADD, but she hadn’t told them. They told her to wait a year and reapply. She did, but then they would let her in. She had to find another school that would take her. All this took time, then had to repeat some classes.
She graduated in June with her BSN, also as an EMT and CAN, Magna Cum Laude. Then she looked for a job. After 110 applications, she got one, in Tallahassee, Florida in the neuro unit. After 8 years, She started this job, Monday! She is/will be a fabulous nurse!!!
What can be learned from all this?